"Pocketknives
to
Broadswords "
  1. All pricing and specifications are subject to change without notice.
  2. Do not poke your eye out or anyone else's for that matter
  3. Any bodily injury on your part may cause severe fits of laughter on our part followed by a possible call to emergency services.
  4. Dry Clean Only.
  5. Don't run with scissors, or any sharp objects, unless we can watch. see #118.
  6. Owners don't play well with others unless they have a ball-gag and "others" have large boobies.
  7. It's not the size of the blade, it's how you stab it, and the angle of the thrust.
  8. Armor is made to fit normal-sized people of the middle ages so be real about your size. So do not complain if it doesn't fit you. Remember no refunds.
  9. If I am bigger than you, I am higher on the food chain.
  10. Do not sit with a sword in your pocket.
  11. Do not chew or crush.
  12. May impair ability to drive or operate heavy machinery.
  13. Test in an inconspicuous area before use.
  14. Use care until you become familiar with its effects.
  15. Intentional misuse by deliberately inhaling contents can be fatal.
  16. If you are stupid enough to think that you will receive a sword when you are ordering a scabbard or plaque, just because it is pictured, see disclaimer #4.
  17. To prevent production migration, do not wash by hand or machine.
  18. For those who need to haggle, we will gladly raise the price so we can give you a discount.
  19. If you are grouchy, irritable, or just plain mean, there will be a $100.00 charge for putting up with your BS.
  20. Any captions on the pictures are our opinions whether they are true or not.
  21. These products not intended for use as a dental drill.
  22. Do not use orally after using rectally.
  23. NOT TO BE USED FOR THE OTHER USE.
  24. This web page (including any pictures) may contain information that is privileged, confidential, and/or otherwise protected from disclosure to anyone other than its intended recipient(s). Any dissemination or use of this web page or its contents (including any pictures) by persons other than the intended recipient(s) is strictly prohibited. If you have received this message in error, please notify us immediately by reply email so that we may correct our internal records. Please then delete the original message (including any pictures) in its entirety. Thank you.
  25. Please stand back at least 50 feet from this web page.
  26. Stroking of your sword may cause blindness.
  27. We only use the freshest premium quality products.
  28. Irritant to eyes and skin.  Avoid contact with eyes and mucous membranes.
  29. The use of this product by more than one person may spread infections.
  30. Extreme heat may cause melting.
  31. Four out of Five dentists surveyed would recommend our product for their patients who can chew.
  32. Do not store in potentially dusty places.
  33. This item comes unfilled.
  34. Cottage cheese not included.  (it's an Okie thing)
  35. Not responsible for boobie damage when putting on armor.
  36. Actual price set by me.
  37. All federal, state and local income and other taxes are solely the responsibility of the winner.
  38. All scantily clad models are and must be at least 18 years of age.
  39. All research statistics are blatantly flagrant.
  40. Pocky not included.
  41. As seen on TV.
  42. Assembled somewhere after being manufactured somewhere else.
  43. Avoid alcoholic beverages while using this product.
  44. Avoid prolonged or repeated contact with skin.
  45. Avoid prolonged exposure to ultraviolet light.
  46. May cause damage to TV screens.
  47. Because some jurisdictions do not allow the exclusion or limitation of liability for consequential or incidental damages, the above limitations may not apply to you.
  48. Breaking seal constitutes acceptance of this agreement.
  49. Sanitized for your protection.
  50. By continuing to use these items you indicate your awareness of and consent to these terms and conditions of use.
  51. May cause drowsiness, nausea, dizziness, or blurred vision.
  52. Colors may, in time, fade.
  53. Close cover before striking.
  54. Consult your physician before use.
  55. Consult your physician if pain continues for more than 5 days.
  56. Contains a substantial amount of non-tobacco ingredients that are high in iron.
  57. Verified Kosher by an actual Jewish person.
  58. Credit will be extended to those persons born before 1901, as long as they are accompanied by their parents; some restrictions apply.
  59. Harmful or fatal if swallowed.
  60. Dealer prep extra.
  61. Stays crunchy in milk.
  62. Do not attempt to put in pants.
  63. Use of a lubricant may greatly ease insertion.
  64. Do not attempt to stop the blade with your hand.
  65. In case of water landing, cannot be used as floatation device. 
  66. Front toward enemy; do not eat.
  67. Do not use for drying pets.
  68. Do not use while sleeping or unconscious.
  69. Don't quote me on anything.
  70. Excessive use may lead to paper cuts.
  71. For indoor or outdoor use only.
  72. If you do not understand, or cannot read, all directions, cautions and warnings, do not use this product.
  73. LOG OFF IMMEDIATELY if you do not agree to the conditions stated in this warning.
  74. Made from 100% recycled electrons and magnetic particles.
  75. May be too intense for some viewers.
  76. May be unsuitable for sensitive people.
  77. May cause any of the aforementioned effects and/or death.
  78. May cause excitability.
  79. May contain small parts.
  80. Misuse may cause injury or death.
  81. Must be at least 18 years of age to be an considered a legal adult.
  82. Neither the seller nor the manufacturer will be liable for any brain damage arising from the use of this product.
  83. No anchovies unless otherwise specified.
  84. No animals were harmed in the creation of this site.
  85. No measurable fat content.
  86. No other warranty expressed or implied.
  87. All sales final.  No substitutions, exchanges or refunds, unless we say so.
  88. Not affiliated with any government agency.
  89. Not affiliated with Texas A & M or any other institution of higher learning.
  90. Not available in all states.
  91. Not available with other offers.
  92. Not responsible for direct, indirect, incidental or consequential damages resulting from any defect, error or failure to perform.
  93. Not responsible for typographical errors.  It is always the computer's fault.
  94. Some items are not street legal in some states.
  95. Now available without a prescription!
  96. Nutritional information available on request.
  97. Price and participation may vary.
  98. Price based on availability.
  99. Provided "as is" without any warranties expressed or implied.
  100. Reference herein to any specific commercial products, process, or service by trade name, trademark, manufacturer, or otherwise, does not necessarily constitute or imply its endorsement, recommendation, or favoring by the United States Government.
  101. Shipping & handling extra.
  102. Should you need legal advice, please consult your lawyer.
  103. Some humor and satire included.
  104. Everything is subject to change without notice.
  105. Supervise children and adults as necessary until capable of using without supervision.
  106. The buyer assumes all risks associated with using this product.
  107. The slight variations in color and texture enhance its individual character and beauty and in no way are to be considered flaws or defects.
  108. The user takes full responsibility for everything and anything that could and/or does go wrong resulting in any kind or type of problem, difficulty, embarrassment, loss of money or goods or services or sleep or anything else whatsoever.
  109. This web site is NOT intended as legal advice.
  110. Meesa NOT Jar-Jar Binks!
  111. Buy something or BUGGER OFF!  (compliments of Angie)
  112. Yes, the swords are real.  They are not imaginary or holograms.
  113. We always try to meet or exceed our own expectations.  What you are expecting is irrelevant.
  114. No information provided herein shall be used in a manner which is adverse to Lazy Dragon.
  115. If either party is prevented from carrying out the provisions hereof by reason of any act of God, war, revolution, blockade, strike, riot, earthquake, cyclone, fire, flood, rail car shortage or delay by carrier, fuel shortage, embargo, lockout or other labor disturbance, the operation of statutes of law, interference of civil or military authority or other providential, governmental or physical cause, existing or future, beyond the reasonable control of the parties, interfering with the production or receipt of items as herein contemplated, the party so interfered with, upon prompt, written notice to the other party in advance of actual shipment, shall be excused from making or taking deliveries to the extent of such interference. If such a delay extends beyond thirty (30) days, either party will have the option of terminating the Purchase Order.
Send mail to Ben Daw with technical questions about knives, swords, etc.
Send mail to Sales with order and availability checks.
Copyright 1993-2016 Lazy Dragon
DISCLAIMERS 2